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Valentine’s Day? No, Thanks.

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photo courtesy of turtlessoup.com

photo courtesy of turtlessoup.com

photo courtesy of turtlessoup.com

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I am married, and I hate Valentine’s Day.

The only day that I should be obligated to be romantic is my wedding anniversary.

I have been married for 14 years, and when I think back to my days as a young, single woman, I realize that Valentine’s Day did not bother me as much as it does today.

At least when you are single, you have an excuse to be bitter and rude, if you so choose, but when you are married, one person could be in a bad mood because they had a bad day at work, or got a flat tire on the freeway, or just a bad hair day.

A bad day could also result from a poop-filled disaster involving the toddler you are potty training. So, by the time your husband arrives home with a card and flowers, you are in no mood to be romantic, nor should you feel obligated to do so.

When my husband and I started dating, he took me to dinner at a fancy restaurant and bought me a beautiful gold necklace, which he could not afford and flowers and a sappy card. I was so overwhelmed, but I appreciated everything, and I remember telling him that he did not have to do so much.

That Valentine’s Day doesn’t hold any significance in my book. But, after 14 years of spending Valentine’s Day on the golf course, I’d say he appreciates my not caring about Valentine’s Day.

Three types of people hate Valentine’s Day. It’s not just the tired, over-stressed married wife or husband or the sad, spiteful single guy or girl. How about the unfortunate child born on Feb. 14?  Imagine that.

I have a male friend who was born on Feb. 14. He enjoyed his birthday until he started dating his first serious girlfriend. On his birthday, he had to take her out to dinner, buy her gifts and make it about her. Poor guy.

In the years that followed, he had to ignore his own birthday to give his girlfriend a great Valentine’s Day. But one day, he knew he had met the woman of his dreams when she asked what he wanted to do for his birthday. They are married with two children and never celebrate Valentine’s Day. I applaud them.

It truly makes me feel bad, well not that bad because I have bigger things to worry about, but I do not want to be a V-Day ba humbug, but who decides that every person in a relationship should be romantic or go out of their way to show their significant other love on Feb.14?

I mean, I would make a point to be romantic on any given Tuesday night, if my husband cooked dinner, took out the trash, gave our daughter a bath, brushed her teeth, put her to bed, all without having to be reminded.

That would be cause for a romantic gesture. Not because some little chubby, flying cherub told me I had to be.

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About the Writer
Stefanie Verdugo Tholen, Reporter

Stefanie Verdugo Tholen is 41 years of age, lives in Fresno, California with her husband Tim Tholen and has a 2 1/2 year old daughter named Helena. She was born and raised in Fresno by her parents Joe and Margie, who were married for over 42 years.

She has two older brothers, and comes from a very large Mexican-American family. Stefanie attended San Joaquin Memorial High School, where she excelled in English and Drama. She was in various plays throughout her high school career and graduated with a 3.5 GPA. After high school, she attended Fresno City College and knew immediately that majoring in mass communications was her passion, however, life events led her down a path to working full time at a law firm and she decided to work full-time while trying to complete her college courses.

At the age of 19, she moved in with her boyfriend at the time, (who is now her husband of 13 years) and working full-time became her main focus to continue her status as an independent adult. As the years passed, she continued to take her general education courses in hopes of earning her degree in mass communication, however a full-time paycheck took precedence.

Later in life, she and her husband welcomed their one and only child into the world and life as she knew it changed for the better. She then realized she wanted to return to school to finish her degree and pursue her lifelong passion in journalism with a focus in broadcasting.

She is now in her last semester at Fresno City College, continuing her studies in journalism. She has previously taken Journalism 1, 3, 15, 16, and is currently enrolled in Journalism 11A and 16, to obtain her AA degree and transfer to Fresno State University in the spring. She also enjoys photography, is a member at Community Media Access Collaborative, has been an elite volunteer at Fresno Bully Rescue for the past six years and enjoys Zumba, golf, and spending time relaxing at home with her husband and daughter.

Contact Stefanie at [email protected]

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Valentine’s Day? No, Thanks.