Sex: A simple three letter word that can mean so much. It can lead to ecstasy, or it can lead to heartache.
Sex is a fundamental part of our lives and a cornerstone of our existence. Without procreation, we would not exist. Yet, sex has been twisted into a form of recreation with many forgetting the natural consequences that can follow.
For those interested in sexual exploration, bi-sexuality, or multiple participants, they should stop and ask themselves if they can handle the repercussions. They may be labeled as a ‘freak’ by some. They may find themselves unable to form an intimate relationship later in life. And if they are insecure about their bodies or struggling with the morality of their decision they should just say no.
It goes without saying that sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy and venereal diseases, but it can also lead to emotional distress. Ask anyone who has gone through an abortion, found themselves a young unmarried parent, dealt with an STD, been accused of rape, lost a close friend after sleeping with him or her, or lost out on the chance to date someone special because of their promiscuous reputation.
The truth is every choice you make today will affect your choices tomorrow. There are people who will look down upon you and judge you. And honestly, if your previous lifestyle offends you’re their sense of morality, and they are unable to see past what they consider to be a ‘flaw’, then by all means you should both move on.
I can say from experience that the biggest mistake one can make concerning sex is treating it like a recreational activity. If you want a work out, go to the gym. If the sex has no emotional attachment for you, the same may not be true for your partner. You should always set the ground rules up front. Sex can change everything, and communicating your needs means far more than explaining what positions you like.
I believe that each individual must make a conscious choice concerning sex. In order to do so, they must weigh the consequences of their decision. Is the immediate gratification worth the risks? Would you make the same choice if you were sober? Are you trying to substitute sex for love?
When you decide to have sex, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “Is this someone I want to have a child with? The possibility is there. After all, no form of birth control is 100 percent.
Another question to consider is what expectations each partner will have following the sexual encounter. Perhaps, your partner will expect a commitment that you are not ready for. Or perhaps, they will suddenly sever the connection alltogether. You have to ask yourself if a few moments of pleasure are truly worth the pain that could follow if reality falls short of your expectations.
To some people, sex brings about intense jealous. Suddenly, that ‘guy or girl of your dreams’ suddenly turns intensely possessive, leaving you feeling like property rather than a person. You are expected to avoid people of the opposite sex, and account for every minute of your day. It doesn’t take long before you feel suffocated and run. Or perhaps you are the one that goes crazy with jealously. You have to recognize that all your insecurities are actually pushing your partner away.
The real question concerning whether or not to have sex is about compatibility, trust, respect, communication, and whether you and your partner are both heading in the same direction. A sexual relationship should only occur between people who are mature enough to handle the consequences.
I am no longer the naive girl I once was. I know that people are driven by their desires, and that for some, this system is acceptable. For myself, I want more. I would much rather have the love of one good man, but I also know that sometimes love dies and the heartache can turn you against the idea of future love and intimacy.
Sex should be enjoyable for both participants. I believe that something is lost when you give yourself away to someone you don’t love. There can be an animalistic satisfaction from the act itself, but the emotion is twisted. For many people, sex becomes an addiction that consumes them and eventually destroys them. And for others, sex is merely the means to an end.
I believe that sex, in the greatest sense, can be a merging of two souls, two lives, and two individuals into one strong connection, life, and purpose. Some might consider this ideological or morally stifling. But I pity these people because they miss out on the greatest part of sex and the greatest joy in life. Possessions can never bring the same satisfaction as meaningful relationships. Lust can never bring the same fulfillment as love. In the end, all that is gained is a temporary reprieve from the utter loneliness that consumes them. And having sex just for the sake of having sex is the plight of the lonely indeed.
So, the next time you debate the idea of having sex ‘just for fun,’ ask yourself this, would you rather be remembered as a person, or just a good time in the sack? Maybe it would be better to wait.