Hey guys: Do you ever catch yourself puffing up your chest to look strong? Or maybe, do you find yourself unexpectedly cussing so you can seem tougher?

You are not alone. Does the typical stereotype fit? If it does, it’s probably a disaster.

This utterly horrific – and humiliating – stereotype of masculinity was created from a desire in entertainment to pursue a fantasy. For instance, a couple in a movie sit at bar and up comes some foolish drunk. He smarts off about the girl. What has to happen? A fight. And not just any fight. The smart-mouth has to end up on the other side of the bar or out the window and running.

This stereotypical fantasy that says “guys are tough and in control” dominates the world. Guys supposedly want it and girls supposedly thrive off it. But when it comes time to live up to this stereotype, there is not much guys can do except fall short of the glory of manhood.

So what does this stereotype consist of? This is simple: being tough, being dominant, being powerful.

There are lots of other ideas behind being a man. So, what actually counts? None of these traits really represent a man. Instead, they represent, in my view, aggression.

To avoid defeat I’ll say that I consider myself complete. Complete in size, sexuality, and masculinity. But what am I comparing myself to? I know not to look or think like the guys who give in to the dominant media behaviors. I usually do not see anything in movies or in magazines to which I can compare myself to. Unlike some, what I do see, I cannot let define my masculinity.

Even in children’s films, men are characterized as strong and self-servant, poised with a huge chest and arms that bring service to a greater good. On the other hand, male characters that do not have these characteristics are set aside as lower fools. And young boys grow conditioned to this false identity of manhood. Now that is depressing.

And everything else I have seen in the movies and on the idiot box connect masculinity with images of brute violence, arrogance, or stability, such as property ownership or other accomplishments that end up weighing heavily on the quality of the man’s character.

There exist other forms of harmful stimuli. There is the nightly casual charming of every other female Charlie Sheen meets on “Two and a Half Men” into bed. It seems that to be the “perfect man” in the minds of women you are going to have to be smooth, charismatic and have played a Navy SEAL in a movie early in your career.

If males can’t live up to these standards that are set by the entertainment industry, there will set in you silent and corrupt feelings of depression, boredom and anger that you are not a man – a feeling that you are not acceptable.

With these social norms that define manhood in society, most would be lost if we did not divert to well developed self-esteems. I say: Shield yourselves guys.

 Really, when was the last time that your personality, your body type, or your place in society represented on TV or in the movies? And of course, without the course for this character being some sort of far out and fanatical joke. Masculinity should not be funny. Stereotyping isn’t.