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The News Site of Fresno City College

The Rampage Online

The News Site of Fresno City College

The Rampage Online

Fee-Fi-So-Dumb

Fee-Fi-So-Dumb

More and more evidence is presenting itself that Bryan Singer’s life’s mission is to ruin your childhood.

Everyone has heard the tale of “Jack and the Beanstalk,” but it’s definitely not as current as “X-Men” and “Superman.”  However, Singer is trying to destroy every ounce of nostalgia you may possess.

“Jack the Giant Slayer” is a poor man’s “Game of Thrones.”

It is set up similarly to “Game of Thrones,” but the characters are silly and superficial.  They hold no depth at all, including the main character Jack.

At the beginning, Jack finds himself in a position where he defends a helpless girl.  The girl turns out to be a princess whose father will not allow his daughter to be with a street boy.

Circumstances leave the princess at the top of the beanstalk, and all the king’s men at the bottom.

Isabelle, the princess, is engaged to marry a man she doesn’t love named Roderick.  To everyone’s un-amazement, Roderick turns out to be evil.

Every evil act committed by Roderick is predictable and poorly done.  Instead of thinking of what an evil man he is, the viewer is left thinking how dumb this film is.

Roderick finds himself in a position to be the king of the giants, and raises an army to conquer the world below.  Jack is forced to become a hero in the process.

Although star Nicholas Hoult’s blue eyes will pierce your soul to make you smile throughout the film, it doesn’t change the fact that most of the time you are witness to poor acting.

In addition to Hoult, the shining star in the film is Ewan McGregor.  He gives his trademark charming performance, but everything else is ridiculous.

The first 20 minutes the film come off as a fake trailer someone made for the Internet. Eventually, though, you realize, “No, this is actually happening.”

The design of the giants themselves is well done, but much of it looks ripped off from “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit.”

The behavior of the giants is something that would only amuse school children.  The entire society of these “feared” creatures is nothing more than comic relief which is demonstrated by the silly and deliberately gross way they conduct themselves.

Singer attempts to milk the PG-13 rating by showing giants casually eating humans, but any violence is always conveniently obscured by a quick camera cut , or by being shown in a reflection of water. This maneuver is intended to play up the actual violence with cheap camera tricks that are too overused in filmmaking, and this film in particular.

Singer fills the world with tall trees the giants destroy, waterfalls and many other elements designed to distract the viewer from the fact that nothing meaningful is going on.

Although Hoult and McGregor are very likable throughout the film, they cannot carry the weight of another Bryan Singer abomination.

D+

 

 

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