Breaking News: Man Stubs Toe but Comes Out Triumphant in Adversity and Other Unrelated Headline Stories

Story By: Derek Bullis, Opinion Editor

It is the end of the day and as I sit down to write, I think back on what I could have possibly missed in the news today. 

What I discovered was absolutely nothing happened except for the big breaking stories. 

The art of news and headlines is fascinating. 

Tabloids paint a grand and beautiful picture of world ending scenarios, life crumbling to pieces around every corner, countless mass murders and politicians in constant war with one another. 

Every day seems like constant turmoil, so I was shocked to make it home unscathed by the mystical destruction after my work shift.

After the long day working sports retail and firearm sales. When I got home like clockwork I discover my mother had been watching the news in the same spot in her arm chair all day. 

Right in that brief moment something interesting almost jumped right off the scene at me. 

Breaking News!!!!!

That Bright Big Bold font just catches our attention and our curiosity just like a 50% Off Sale does at our favorite retail store. 

But nothing is Breaking. 

What is sold as Breaking News on this particular channel is the perpetual zeitgeist of opinion editorial discussions pushing the agenda for the impeachment of President Trump. 

The press seems to always be in full force covering him these days like he is the harbinger of doom for our society. 

“I enjoy watching the train wreck happening,” says Robbin Bullis. 

The viewer is buying the perfect sell of the news, but reporters don’t like to think of themselves as “Salesman” trying to catch everyone’s attention and trying to make a profit with that attention.

Meanwhile media companies are making millions off our nihilistic fascination. 

As reporters we define ourselves as storytellers, historians, the voice of the people and curators to social issues in the present moment. 

We forget that we are simply entertainers feeding those interested in watching the train wreck. 

Nothing the President, or any other politician on the world stage says or does affects us and how we live our own lives day to day. 

That is why as a writer I never care to tell the news. 

Every story that I do write about is fickle entertainment and holds no value. So the end goal and reason that drove me into this career field is finding simpler stories to tell. 

Ones that hold almost no news value and make the reader laugh or think just a little bit. Lets work to slow the breaks down a little and enjoy simpler stories. 

Because it’s the end of the day again and we haven’t missed anything.