During the summer of 2012, I started to pursue a degree in American Indian Studies and Mythology at Fresno City College and found my true calling.

Reading the pages of old world lectures was always a deep passion of mine. I have always been fascinated by the creation legends of Native America; they remind me of the mythologies of the Old

World and the Far East. My hope is to understand the world around me and to gain knowledge from the ancient world.

Being Native American in America is one thing that gives me hope in this ever changing world we live in. The stories I heard many years ago sparked my passion and zeal for learning about my culture. There is so much to learn and so little time.

Most of my knowledge of my Apache heritage comes from the generations that came before me and many hours of research through the oral and written histories of my ancestors. I know there is a warrior spirit inside me because I am of Apache descent.

Now I know that the word “Apache” is derived from a Zuni word meaning (“enemy”) but it is could also mean (“fighting men” ) in the Comanche language. Apaches are indigenous to the Southwest — Arizona, New Mexico and Northern Mexico. The Apache language is Athabascan which originated in their former homeland of Northern Canada.

Legendary Apache warrior Geronimo Goyathlay (“one who yawns”) is probably the greatest warrior who ever lived. This greatest Apache fighter of the old west,was born in the upper Gila river country of Arizona (1829-1909) He defied the US government for more than 25 years, and while he surrendered twice, he was never defeated.

When I think of the past, of the grave injustices done to my people, I hear the war cries of my ancestors. In my dreams, I see a thousands souls begging for help, and when I wake, I weep for long hours, wondering what might have been. This is hard to understand, and it has haunted me most of my life.

Then I found something. I remember having hope for a better future and opening my mind to a more positive aspect in life. It is because I remember the stories of the elders who came before me. It is their struggles that help me find my past and a future.

The story of Native Americans in the US is a much different tale from what the history books tell us. Most of what is written about our ancestors is false and from only one point of view. Either that or we are often treated as if we have no history, and if you’re a Native American, that is hard to comprehend.

Throughout my schooling, the American history I was taught was about European forefathers and Christopher Columbus discovering this land in 1492. But we all know that’s not true. They were people here. Before Columbus ever set sail to the New World, about 90 to 100 million American Indians already called the Americas their home.

It hurts the very soul of my heart when I think of all the injustices done to my ancestors. Geronimo articulates the concern that most of us continue to feel about the state of the Native American.“I cannot think that we are useless or God would not have created us,” he had said. “There is one God looking down on us all. We are all the children of one God. The sun, the darkness, the winds are all listening to what we have to say.”

If that’s the case, how come my people suffered and continue to suffer? Why are we so misunderstood and why is our history largely untold?

Most times, I choose to look at the positives and the rich legacy that I have inherited. I know that the Apaches guerrilla war tactics come naturally and are unsurpassed. Even the name Apache would put fear into the hearts of their enemies for they were the most skilled warriors that ever lived.

Since coming to Fresno City College, I have gained so much knowledge from my American Indian professors Dr.Bernard Navarro and Matt Espinoza-Watson who are rich in wisdom and help students gain what cannot be taught in a classroom. They have guided me to finding who I am and shown me pride in my ancestors.

My non-Native American friends ask me the craziest questions. “Why were the Apaches so war-like?” “Do you have casinos?” and “ I think I have an Indian great grandmother.” I laugh because today, I have answers to their questions, and I take great pride in answering them.

Yes, I’m Apache, and I’m a warrior.

Knowing where I come from gives me great hope but great responsibility. It is up to my generation to continue the ancient ways so future generations can learn them. Knowledge of the ancient ways guides me to the right path and yes, much hope for a better tomorrow.