The News Site of Fresno City College

The Rampage Online

The News Site of Fresno City College

The Rampage Online

The News Site of Fresno City College

The Rampage Online

What They Dont Tell You About Having a Single Mom

I’m 12-years-old, crying on our living room sofa after my mom explains the real reason my father wasn’t in our lives. Following the time I was eight, crying on the same living room sofa as my step-father and step-brother were packing their truck to leave, after the final decision to divorce.

Now I’m 24-years-old, crying not because of the lack of fathers, but because of the realization of what my mother had to sacrifice to be a single parent of two children.

Like many people who grew up with one parent, understanding the hard work and sacrifice that our parents went through doesn’t come at a young age.

The feeling of realizing a little too late doesn’t escape me.

It’s frustrating to remember the ideologies from childhood of how having a single parent creates a weakness for a child, disregarding the obvious valuable examples of
resilience and hard work that comes from our single parents.

These can also cause a lot of harm to children of single parents and the parents themselves. Outcasting somebody because it doesn’t match what others perceive to be healthy enables bullying against not only children but the adult as well.

As a kid, my mom would ask if it was embarrassing to be a child of a single parent. The answer was always no and was often met with confusion, because why would I be embarrassed? This was the life I knew and was comfortable with.

Then that question became more common outside of my household. The stares of regret and pity after they ask me about my parents when I only respond with one. It always seemed more of a problem to others than it ever has been for me.

It’s an oversight on society’s behalf to create a narrative of embarrassment when there was a perfect opportunity to showcase the great strengths that can come from that experience.

As an adult, it feels impossible to fathom being a single parent to one child, let alone two. I owe every advantage and strength that I’ve gained to my mother.

The biggest lesson she’s taught me is to value my independence and individuality. Every phase I went through in childhood was met with open arms and genuine curiosity.

She gave me a childhood filled with books and art, following me into adulthood where I’ve pursued my passion for writing.

Imposter syndrome would have swallowed me a long time ago if it wasn’t for her.

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About the Contributor
Sara Ohler
Sara Ohler, Opinion Editor
Sara Ohler is a 24 year-old journalism major who was born and raised in Fresno, CA. After graduating high school in 2017, she didn't know what she wanted to spend her time studying. She decided to take time off of college, but still wanted to pursue education and went on to become an esthetician. After a few years, she didn't feel challenged within her practice anymore and craved something more, so she decided she would go back to college.  She initially joined the Rampage on a whim, and became an editor in her first semester and is now the editor-in-chief in her third semester. She feels lucky and grateful to have jumped on this opportunity when she did. Sara's passion for writing started around the age of 8, which stemmed from her love of reading. A few years later she would discover a passion for photography. She wrote in her high school newspaper and loved it and she feels lucky to have been given the opportunity to experience what writing for a publication is like. Though she hasn't decided which university she would like to go to, she plans on transferring to one with a good journalism program where she can dive in to the realm of investigative journalism, photojournalism and music journalism. She has quite a few different hobbies, but you will most likely catch her photographing concerts, reading in a local cafe, or playing Dungeons and Dragons with her pals.

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