I started my YouTube channel, ChueyeeHeartsBeauty, in 2012.

The idea of starting a YouTube channel drifted into my head as I was watching another YouTuber’s video; I was inspired by her. After hours of filming and days of editing, I was a “YouTuber”.

Half of my high school life and my first two years college were spent creating YouTube videos.

In my time as a content creator on YouTube, I loved how I was able to have a hobby that I was absolutely in love with.

It gave me so much power. I was able to be creative when editing as well as have the freedom to talk about things that I found interesting such as beauty, fashion, Korean pop [K-pop] and much more.

The first few years of YouTubing were filled with excitement. I felt very gratified every time I completed and uploaded a video. It meant that all of the hours and days that I spent editing and filming one video was worth it.

But life intervened. In addition to operating the YouTube channel, I took on an internship, plus of course, being a full-time student.

At that point in my life, school and work were a priority, and my passion for making YouTube videos disappeared; sadly, I began to view my hobby as a chore.

I was so occupied with school and work and the pressure to make time to make videos; invariably, my hobby was no longer enjoyable. It became a chore.

It has been nine months since I last uploaded a video onto my channel, and it stays at the back of my mind. I recently filmed a video, but I wasn’t pushing myself to finish it.

I remember how I was once so eager to develop whatever ideas I had — film and edit it. Today, I’m not in a hurry. It takes me days and maybe weeks to even get myself to edit after filming a video.

Although my passion for making YouTube videos disappeared, the amount of experience that I gained over the years is irreplaceable.

Looking back at my YouTube videos made me realize how much I’ve grown as a video editor and a content creator.

Making YouTube videos was like creating video diaries. I was able to see how much I’ve grown over the years.