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The Pro’s and Con’s of Being Single in Your 20s

February 7, 2017

To be single and in your twenties can be both the best and worst of situations.

You feel both free and lonely, and life is a real roller coaster.

One day, all you want to do is to throw on your favorite robe, kick your feet up and binge watch “Modern Family” all day; the next day, all you want is to be spectacularly dressed and out, surrounded by the people you love.

What is constant about being 20-something is uncertainty — about life, living and dating.

It is impossible to know or trust your feelings about friends, partners or mates or dating. Most of us are caught in the complex game of dating — finding and choosing people with whom we want to spend our time.   But it is a game we can win by following some simple rules.

Pro – You can talk to/ flirt with whomever you want. Flirting is exciting! Everyone knows that the most exciting part of a relationship is actually right before it even begins.

You know what I am talking about — the stage where all you are trying to do is make the person you like laugh and feel wanted and fuzzy inside. Being in a relationship, especially in a long relationship, a lot of people find that they eventually stop flirting; they lose that fuzzy feeling.

If that is the case, you should probably run. Run really fast and really far away from that situation.

Go flirt with the cute guy in your chemistry class. Tell an old crush how you feel about them. Like Jenna says in the movie “13 going on 30,” “30, flirty, and thriving.” But, in this case, it is “20, flirty, and thriving”.

Con – Do I even know how to flirt anymore? After being in a long relationship, it can knock you off your feet. Some days you will be sitting there thinking, “How do I even talk to boys? Where do I even begin?” (As if you had not been dating a boy the last few years)

So, eventually you hit a low point, get on Google, and you click on a website called “Flirting 101”, and if you have gotten that far, you are probably insane and should not be dating.

But it is OK, there is help for everyone. Which is why you will probably go on Tinder to boost your self esteem. No shame in that. Thousands of people do it every day.

There is no shame in swiping right and sending a few awkward “What ups?” to guys you know you would probably never be interested in, for the sake of getting your mojo back.

Pro – You make friends with people you probably never would have thought you would be friends with. It is 1am. You are in the bathroom with a girl you have never met before, at a nightclub you have never been to before, drinking a drink you said you would never drink, and all because you are not with the guy you were with last week. Boom, new friendship.

Con – Missing that romantic connection can be tough. Sometimes your best friends just do not cut it. Yes, it is nice to do things for yourself, not have to worry about someone else and what they are doing, but on the other hand, you miss those things.

You miss not having someone to call up after an awful day to make you feel better, feel loved and feel missed. And, while your mom is a close second for that, it still is not the same.

Hearing the words, “I’ll be right over to pick you up” after a fight with your mom is not something you think you will ever have to miss, until you actually do. Missing that romantic connection could possibly be the hardest part of a break up. Thankfully, God created pizza and cheap wine for the nights it hits the hardest.

The list of pros and cons can go on and on, but we all know, that despite all of the possible cons, being single in your 20s is something you will never get back, and something every person should cherish.

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